


Duality

by softalex



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, adhd angie, and angie has walls thicker than war bunkers, in which peggy thinks too much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:58:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4154538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softalex/pseuds/softalex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peggy Carter could read people, but human error made way for moments and people that she couldn’t read.<br/>Angie Martinelli had a broken brain, a heart full of sin, and a spectacular talent at hiding the aforementioned things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Curious

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't published a fanfic since I was a small thirteen y/o, and that was four whole years ago, so I'm feeling a bit rusty, heh. tbh I don't often write fictional stories at all, but I really want to get back into writing. Here we go.

Peggy Carter could see right into the minds of people. Men in particular, for they were open books in front of women. This was a direct result of the consensus that women were feeble minded creatures that wouldn’t even attempt to analyse the mind of a male. She couldn’t help but to see through the thinly veiled sexism behind every sentence that her co-workers directed at her. She could easily tell what each of these men thought her to be.  
A stray kitten left on their doorstep for protection, a secretary turned damsel in distress. Agent Peggy Carter was a girl on a pedestal, transformed into some daft whore.

Her skill in combat, many accomplishments that had given her a classified war record, and the way she handled foreign situations with utter expertise and care, none of it had any meaning. She was a woman, and that automatically forfeit her competence.  
Peggy could prove herself to be far more capable than the men in her office every day, only to be back at square one the following morning.

It hadn’t come as a shocker that her fathead colleagues were completely taken aback upon finding out she had conducted an entire investigation  
right under their noses. Nor had it come as a surprise that even after she had prevented thousands of souls from brutally slaughtering each other, they were all just as eager to continue treating her like a secretary.

Although she knew this was the reality she lived in, it felt like a slap to the face, and it stung just as much.  
Difficulties aside, she would always keep going. Some might look at her and see a petty fool,  
but her goal was never to be praised for her actions. Her goal was to make the world a better and safer place,  
disrespectful colleagues were merely a complication she would have to work around.  

When Daniel Sousa asked her to go out for a drink, the agent had thought of three things. First, in his mind she was still the old flame of Captain America, and he thought there was no way Peggy would trade in a hero’s shield and glory for an agent with a prosthetic leg. That was as far from the truth as it could be. Peggy loved Steve, not the fictional idea of Captain America. She loved the skinny asthmatic boy from Brooklyn that would do anything to serve his country.

Second, Agent Sousa had turned her in. Despite it being the most lawful thing to do, given the circumstances, it made her wary of him. Being thought to be a traitor wasn’t exactly the most romantic thing.  
Third, she knew that he fancied her, and as flattering as his advances somehow managed to be, she had no interest in anything other than a collegial friendship.

Then her mind drifted off to Angie. The charming waitress who had, though she barely knew Peggy and despite having been lied to, covered for her without as much as a blink.  
Peggy’s co-workers would without a doubt label Angie a naïve fathead and scoff at her ‘blind’ trust. Peggy, however, saw it from a different perspective. Angie Martinelli seemed to have an affinity for telling the good from the bad, a skill they both shared.

Peggy Carter could read people, but human error made way for moments and people that she couldn’t read. The fact that Howard Stark’s lies about the blitzkrieg-button had slipped through her unnoticed had been more upsetting than the actual betrayal.  
This time it was no betrayal or lies bothering her, but it was no less frustrating. 

It was the fact that Angie Martinelli was infuriatingly hard to read, and further more, she couldn't for the world figure out what exactly the actress thought of her. Letting out a exhausted groan, Peggy slumped down on the assumably expensive couch in the grand hall of the Stark mansion. It was not like she was entitled to know what Angie thought of her, people deserved their privacy, but she was so used to being able to string the smallest of actions together that she only ever became aware of it when she couldn’t. She’d been doing this since she was little, by figuring out what people thought of her, she knew what to say and how to act.

Even after several conversations, she still couldn’t figure the younger woman out.  
As they became neighbours, and later on roommates, there had been moments where Angie’s guard seemed to falter. She’d notice small, quick glances that were filled with sorrow and fright, leaving the agent with even more questions.

Angie was an honest and forward person, yet she somehow also had an incredibly guarded behaviour. Peggy’s brows furrowed as she ran her fingers through her hair. She shouldn’t be thinking like this. Angie was not a threat, nor was she an obstacle on a mission. No matter how she looked at it there was no reason for her to keep thinking about the girl like she was a cryptic message waiting to be decoded.

Peggy was so used to seeing what people thought of her like it was written on their foreheads, but when faced with this girl, Peggy was completely clueless. When she was using her cover, she often couldn’t figure out what to say, all because she didn’t know what would work with Angie.  Now that she didn't have to pretend to be an ordinary woman any more, she had quickly come to realise that being herself was even harder.  
“Good lord, I think too much.” She whispered as she stood up to straighten her skirt. The old grandfather clock she passed in the hallway told her it was twenty past ten in the evening. Angie’s shift ended at ten, which meant that she would home any minute.

She made her way into the kitchen and paused when she reached the shelf holding all the various brands of tea. Instead, she turned to the liquor cabinet and grabbed hold to a bottle of what she assumed to be fairly expensive wine. Initially she’d planned to just make tea, but she had a rugged day behind her and warmly welcomed the numbing sensation that liquor offered.

She took a glass from one of the finely decorated pantries and sat down at the kitchen table. Just as she was filling her glass, she heard the entrance door creak.  
“Peggy?” The newly arrived waitress called out. “Where are you?”

Peggy lit up when Angie’s words echoed through the large mansion. After listening to her morbidly offensive co-workers all day, it was wonderful to hear the voice of someone she actually liked.

Taking another sip of her glass, she responded. “I’m in the kitchen.” Peggy downed all of the remaining wine before standing up to properly greet her roommate. Angie entered the room, still wearing both her coat and shoes. “You will not believe the day I’ve had.” The younger woman looked at Peggy with large dramatic eyes before hanging her coat on the chair and sitting down.

“Oh great, I really need a drink.” She took one look at the wine glass on the table before opting to drink straight out of the bottle.

  
“Sounds like you’ve had a harrowing day. Mine wasn’t the best either. You’d think professionally trained agents wouldn’t behave like insolent children, but apparently even they find joy in laughing at less fortunate individuals.” Peggy groaned at the utter ignorance of her co-workers as she sat down next to Angie. “Forgive me for talking so much, I believe you wanted to tell me about your day?”

Angie let out a loud sigh. “So, first the bus driver didn’t stop where I was supposed to get off.” She began her story, filling up the wine glass and took a large sip before handing it over to Peggy.

“And I’m telling you we were several gals all yelling at him, but he kept going all the way to the next stop. Then I had to walk back and I arrived to work ten minutes late, did I mention my boss absolutely hates tardiness? Also, I think more men copped a feel today than ever before, but this one particular guy caused me to drop another customers order. A customer who then started yelling at me.” Angie paused, looking up at her roommate.

“That’s just right out awful. I’m truly sorry you have to put up with that.” Peggy’s fists clenched with anger as she spoke.  
“It could have been worse I guess. How about you, any specific moments that drove you to sitting here with a bottle o’ wine? Not that I’m complaining.” Angie inquired as she kicked off her shoes. Peggy was reminded of the internal monologue she’d had a while ago and fought a frown that threatened to develop.  
“Aside from the boys at the agency being a faintly more obtuse than usual, I don’t think so.” The previously fought frown was now ever so present.   
“Actually,” She continued. “There’s something I can’t really figure out and it’s on the verge of driving me mad.”

Angie’s features hardened slightly. “That’s vague. It also doesn’t sound too good, Peg. What's it you’re trying to figure out?” Angie filled the wine glass again and took a sip, continuing before Peggy had a chance to answer.

“Wait, maybe it’s classified. But considering the amount of friends I don’t have, it’s not like I’ll be telling anyone.” Angie stopped for a second. “Shit, I’m sorry, that was a bit too much information. I say you’re the one who talks too much yet here I am rambling on and on. So, what were you saying?” Angie tried, and failed, to smile in an attempt to conceal her embarrassment.

“Angie, sweetie. it’s alright.” Peggy’s thumb brushed over Angie’s hand to comfort her. “I honestly find your little rambles endearing, and to answer your question, no, it isn’t classified.”  
The tired waitress was genuinely smiling, which Peggy took some pride in, then she swore she’d caught a glimpse of that worried look she sometimes saw in Angie. The look of worry left her face almost uncomfortably quick, and Angie was smiling at her again.  “Then spill, English. What’s got the great Peggy Carter so disoriented that she decides to drink in the middle of the week?”


	2. Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is angies point of view, and jumps back maybe an hour in time
> 
> heads up: this chapter contains homophobic slurs and describes anxiety and implied self hatred

Angie had checked the clock in the diner several times the past half hour. Her shift was nearly over and the few customers left were the rudest group of men that she had encountered in a long while. She overheard one of them, a dirty blonde haired man with a worn out suit and broken glasses, spewing nasty words about someone who Angie assumed to be another man’s former girlfriend. 

“She’s both ugly and dumb, she’ll never find another man like you.” He had slurred, his face messy from the sandwich he’d devoured like an animal.

Angie quickly came to conclusion that these were the type of men that believed the world centered around men and their tool. She hated that type of men with a burning passion. The unknown girl was much better off without him.   
Taking a deep breath to soothe the anger bubbling inside of her, Angie resumed to wiping the empty tables and setting up chairs. 

The man, whose prior girlfriend was the subject of conversation, spoke up. “She’s gotta be a fucking dyke to not want me!” The brute looked hideously pleased with his snide comment as the men all crackled.   
Angie’s nails dug into the skin of her palm as both of her fists tightened in anger. She slowly retreated to the back of the diner, closed her eyes, and counted to ten. The waitress’d had nothing short of an awful day, and this was only the tip of the iceberg. A proverbial iceberg forged out of comments and looks she wished she could fight, or at the very least forget.

“Oi, waitress!” Angie heard one of the men call out. Taking a final deep breath, she walked to their table. An insincere and realistic smile covered any trace of anger as she slipped into her bubbly facade. “How can I help you? You’ve paid already, and we’re closing in,” She glanced at the clock again. “Six minutes.” 

A balding man, presumably twice her age, let his eyes trail over Angie.

“Actually, I wanted to ask something. You’re a real sweet looking broad, how would you like to join us for a drink after you clock out?”

The men all chuckled at this. Angie’s eyebrows rose and she forced her smile to stay put. “It’s in the middle of the week,” She exclaimed, put her hand on her hip, and continued. “And I really can’t afford to come into work hungover tomorrow morning.” Technically that was true, but she didn’t have a shift until the afternoon.

The blonde chimed in. “You don’t gotta drink, honey. We can go right to my place.” The dirty grin he shot her made his intentions crystal clear and Angie felt sick to her stomach. 

Angie flashed the sweetest smile she could muster up. “This gal” She pointed to herself, continuing to play the goofy waitress as though this were a role and the diner her stage, “Has been up since six in the morning, and could probably fall asleep right here where she’s standing. So I’ll have to say no.” The waitress hoped with all her heart that this would be enough to ward off the men, but the look on their faces made it glaringly clear that her hopes were wrong. “Honey,” The blonde had gotten up and grabbed her wrist. “Why you gotta play us like this?”

Pulling away, she shot him an unbelieving look. “I ain’t playing. I’ve had a crap day and all I want is to get home and go to bed.”

He sneered. Either he wasn’t used to rejection, or he never took it well. Angie assumed the latter, given his less than fortunate looks and flippant behavior. “You got a fella or something?” 

Angie wanted to roll her eyes at the question. Of course he would think an uninterested woman has been claimed by another man. “Listen buddy, I got no fella, not that it matters, I just ain’t interested.” She immediately regretted the words that poured out of her. She was the only other person left in the diner and these men could easily overpower her. Fear shot through her like an electric shock. 

The old, nearly bald, man snickered. “Did you hear that, Johnny? She isn’t interested.” A taunting laugh accompanied his mocking tone. “Sweet cheeks, how do you think you’re ever gonna find a husband if you act like that?” The men smirked at her. 

“I think I’ll manage.” She shot back, and added a quiet string of words under her breath. She hoped again, that they didn’t notice. She was wrong again.

“What was that, honey?” The blonde looked at her like a child.

 ‘To hell with it’, Angie thought. The automat closed in a few minutes, and the men would be on their merry way. “I said,” She straightened herself, finding courage in the strength of her friend and roommate. ‘If Peg can do it, so can I.’

She glared back at him. “I don’t need a husband. There are more important things in life.”

The man actually looked taken aback. As if he couldn’t possibly have imagined a woman saying that she doesn’t need a man. 

Angie checked the time again. Finally. “Well, would you look at that!” She pointed to the clock. “It’s closing time.” The men didn’t bulge.

“Oh, would you like to take this with the chef instead? He’s still in the back.” Angie lied, knowing that the chef had an infamous temperament that no one wanted to face. The men all cast knowing looks at each other. 

Before they left, old man turned to Angie. “You’re much prettier when you don’t talk. Too bad you’re a fucking dyke.”   
He turned and left before she had a chance to process what had been said. As she came to her senses, she felt her eyes soaking up.  

Angie Martinelli could handle most comments, she had grown used to it long ago, but that one word still managed to cut like a blade. It was an unwelcome reminder of something she tried so hard to forget.

The waitress felt her legs buckle and grabbed hold to the table, to prevent herself from falling. Once she was sure the men weren’t returning, she let out a ragged breath she didn’t know she was holding. Her eyes were burning and she wiped away the hot tears that flowed steadily. Everything felt wrong and dirty. Scrubbing the tables was a momentary distraction, and after finishing she went onto sweeping the floor. Before she knew it she was done in record time. Locking the automat door proved to be a rather difficult task to do when exhausted and upset, but she managed it, and with a last effort she hailed a taxi and was finally on her way home. 

 

She left the taxi after it stopped outside the gates of the large mansion that had been gifted to them by Howard Stark. She breathed in slowly, trying to be as composed as possible before entering the mansion. 

The door creaked when she opened it. “Peggy? Where are you?” She called out, gaining a response almost immediately. She hurried to the kitchen, longing for interaction with someone other than impolite customers.

Her feet ached with every step she took, and she was thankful the kitchen was relatively close to the hallway. There was something soothing about Peggy, she felt herself loosen up considerably as Peggy greeted her. 

“You will not believe the day I’ve had.” Angie spotted the bottle of wine and decided that she definitely needed a drink.

 Peggy began telling Angie about her day, and both thought it was calming, to hear the others voice.

Everything had felt so wrong in the diner, but right now, right here, something was right. Peggy had stopped telling her story and asked Angie to tell hers. Angie left out the incident that had happened most recently, she only wanted to forget that it ever happened. Keeping the conversation going, Angie asked what had driven Peggy, who normally didn’t drink before work days because she didn’t want to risk being hungover for work, to pour up her third glass of wine. 

“There’s something I’m trying to figure out.” Peggy answered. 

Angie didn’t accept this answer, she wanted to talk and something was clearly bothering the older woman. She just couldn’t stop the words from leaving her mouth, and soon she’d said things she wished she hadn’t. The actress apologized for her rambles, feigning a smile to hide her shame.

Her breath caught as Peggy brushed her thumb over her hand, and said that she found her rambling endearing.  _Endearing?_  
_Annoying, frustrating, embarrassing_ , those are few of the many words people had would used to describe her inability to keep her mouth shut, and those are the words Angie would use herself. Endearing was not one of them.

So, Peggy’s problem was not classified and her thumb was still brushing over Angie’s hand. She tensed up again. The wrong came back to her, and for only a second she remembered what she wished from the depths of her rotten heart to forget. With ease that would knock the socks off all the casting directors that had given her the hook, Angie slipped right back into the role she was so used to play. The Angie that has forgotten it all. The Angie that is the person the world wants her to be, and the person Angie knows she will never be. She quirked a smile.  “Then spill, English. What’s got the great Peggy Carter so disoriented that she decides to drink in the middle of the week?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt like i had to show angies point of view too, so the next chapter will be the conversation. please leave feedback !!

**Author's Note:**

> ok, I wasn't actually planning for this to become a story, it started out with me just trying to lay out who I think Peggy Carter is and sort of, getting into her mind. But all of a sudden they were doing things and I lost control. 
> 
> Please tell me if you want a second chapter!!


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